"Balance is a Delicate Equation" by Emily Grant

As I write this, it’s the end of a long day. I’m fighting to get over a cold, my kids are sick, I’m trying to balance being a mom, taking care of my health, and working. Sometimes, I get to the end of the day and I just want to go stand in a hot shower for an extra 10 minutes. I always end up feeling a little more rejuvenated and thankful that I have the opportunity to try to have “balance”...whatever that means!

Growing up, I never thought I would be a mom. I also didn’t know if I would be able to work. My lungs started on a downward spiral in high school and continued to get worse through college. I had to drop out of several extracurriculars in college because I didn’t have time or energy to devote to many other things besides my health and classes. Even so, I found a program I loved, and I graduated with a degree in communication sciences and disorders. I went on to get my master’s degree in speech pathology, not knowing how much I would be able to work after I graduated. I just knew that I wanted to help people be able to communicate better. I started working as a speech-language pathologist (SLP) part-time with adults with intellectual disabilities, and I truly loved what I did. I had to cancel sessions more than I would have liked, but I felt like I was doing what I was meant to do. About a year later, I was able to participate in the study for Trikafta. All of a sudden, my future looked totally different; I was able to breathe again! 

After several years with stable health, my husband and I decided to start a family. Our daughter was born in November 2021, and our son was born in June 2024. They are the best addition to our lives, and I still can’t believe some days that I’m a mom. They make us laugh and teach us how to love unconditionally. I have continued to work as an SLP since becoming a mom, although my role looks a little different right now; I mainly supervise other therapists instead of conduct the therapy myself. 

The hardest part about having two kids is juggling what my schedule needs to look like now. What choices do I have to make with my limited time? I need to do breathing treatments, but I also need to sleep. I need to feed the kids, but I also need to feed myself. I need sleep, but I also need to exercise. (If only I didn’t need to sleep, I’d have so much time!) I want to watch Netflix, but I need to finish paperwork. Of course, I love my kids and am blessed to be able to spend so much time with them, but I also love working. 

Balance is a delicate equation that we will never be able to do perfectly. When I say “yes” to something, I am automatically saying “no” to something else simply because there’s not enough time in the day. I haven’t figured out how to balance everything yet, and I think many people with CF are in the same boat as me. I hope we can work together to figure it out. If you find a magic formula, let me know! Until then, I’m going to do my best to be a generous, compassionate mom, excel in my work, maintain good health, build friendships, and love my family.