"Faith and Strength" by Candice Kalenga
My name is Candice Kalenga, and I am a wife and mother of three wonderful children. I was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis at the age of eight. One of my passions is singing! I have loved singing and music for as long as I can remember. It speaks to me in a way nothing else does. It’s this deep feeling that brings peace and comfort and transports me to a place where everything feels okay. This has significantly shaped my journey with CF. It’s been challenging over the years to sing with CF. I’ve sung feeling well, and I’ve sung feeling sick. Sometimes I wonder why God gave me this desire to sing when He knew it would be so difficult for me. But I believe He wants to use my weakness to demonstrate that He is strong.
Around 2017, I experienced the worst flare-up in my CF journey. I was hospitalized, and my mental health began to decline rapidly. I felt very scared, and the thought that antibiotics were no longer working started to flood my mind. As I sat in the hospital bed day after day with no relief in sight, I began to feel very discouraged. Music was what lifted my spirits. One day, I played a worship song on YouTube that talked about waiting on the Lord. I was standing in the hospital room, hooked up to my IV, rolling the pole around the room, and I surrendered my situation to God because I realized there was nothing I could do to get better physically. I eventually recovered from that infection, thankfully! I could not have gotten through that difficult time without the prayers and support from my family, friends, and church community. Through that trial I realized, sometimes, you have to hit rock bottom to start thinking about how you can help others in similar situations.
I've always been passionate about the CF community, but I really wanted to find a way to give back. I participated in my first BreatheCon organized by the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. I signed up for one of their virtual sessions, and that's where I met Ashley Ballou-Bonnema! Shortly afterward, I signed up for virtual voice lessons with Breathe Bravely and fell in love with their mission to give voice to CF.
Fast forward a few years to when Trikafta became available! I remember the first Sunday at church soon after I started this miracle medication. Our worship team was leading the song “Goodness of God,” and when I reached the chorus “All my life you have been faithful, all my life you have been so, so, good, with every breath that I am able, oh I will sing of the goodness of God,” I started to cry. I never thought I’d get a chance to sing without feeling like I was trying to catch my breath or not coughing, and here I was in this miraculous moment!
People often ask me if I am mad at God for allowing me to have this disease. My answer has always been “no.” God is gracious, and I have learned so much through experiencing this life-threatening illness. I have met wonderful people I wouldn’t have met if I’d never been diagnosis with cystic fibrosis. God has blessed me with joy in my heart despite my health, and when people see that I can still smile and have CF, it gives them hope. If I can help just one person have hope, then all my suffering is worth it! I don’t wish any of it away—well, okay, maybe the coughing until you throw up and gasping for air—but nonetheless, this disease has shown me beauty for ashes and a spirit of praise for the heaviness so that the Lord can be glorified!
