"Reflection, Navigation, and Trust" by Alexa Hall

2025 was a learning year for me.

While reflecting on everything, I realized the second half of the year went nothing like I planned.

To start it all off, I developed a really horrible cough during finals week in mid-May. While I’m obviously no stranger to sickness, waking up in the middle of the night unable to breathe because I was coughing so hard was new to me. Cystic fibrosis has had many effects on my life, but it has mostly been in the form of GI and liver problems. My lungs have remained relatively untouched throughout my life. I know I’ve been blessed in that way. So when this cough developed, I reached out to my doctor as normal and started an antibiotic. I made it through finals and went home for summer, still coughing but improving. When the antibiotic was finished, the cough was barely noticeable, but it came back a couple of days after the antibiotic course was over. I got started on a new antibiotic, but developed pneumonia shortly after that and just felt physically horrible. After starting a second antibiotic for pneumonia, the cough began to subside again, but when those antibiotics finished their course, the cough decided to make an appearance yet again. It was a crazy few weeks and I struggled to know what to do next.

It was at this point that I reached out to my doctor and scheduled a hospital admission (at the Children’s hospital where I work, no less). This was my first tune-up. I’d been close to needing a tune-up in the past, but I’d always been able to avoid it at the last minute. This was different. There was no way for me to delay treatment anymore. My expectations for myself and my health changed the day that I was admitted. When Trikafta came out when I was 15, I was hopeful that I would never need a tune-up. I’ve always held myself to the highest expectations, so this was a natural thought for teenage Alexa to have. Yes, I was slightly naive, but the hope was there.

After my whole hospital stay, I was still coughing more than normal, and I was worried that my life was going to take a turn and go down a different course of more frequent hospital visits and progressing disease. Thankfully it did eventually subside a few weeks into the fall semester. I was sick from May to September. That being said, my summer did not go to plan. The sickness was the craziest part, but I also broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 years, survived a tsunami in Hawaii (mostly a joke since it was just a tsunami warning), and went through a lot of issues with my college friends. The summer shifted my outlook and the course of my life, so I was ready to get back into the school year and “normal” life. I had many expectations for my sophomore year of college, and (surprise!) that didn’t really go to plan either. Don’t get me wrong, I had an amazing semester with so much good. 

There were just some little things that didn’t go as expected. My classes were harder, I was working to develop new friendships, I didn’t make the choir that I wanted, and I definitely overcommitted to activities. It was hard to fit everything in and I found myself becoming exhausted really early on. I don’t know what 2026 has in store for me, but I find myself hopeful, as I typically am at the start of the new year. I am going to learn from 2025 and work on myself, dividing up my attention to where I think I can most efficiently sustain everything. I need to create new habits, especially before I start pharmacy school in the spring, so I am going to work on not procrastinating, choosing what activities I think are most worth my time, and giving myself grace when things don’t go how I expect. I obviously have expectations for this year, but I am going to work more on trusting God’s plan and doing what I can to go with the flow.