"The Adventures of Getting a Sputum Culture" by Elena Goodrow

This week I traveled far and wide trying to find somewhere to get a sputum culture done. Our story starts a few weeks ago when I had my very first virtual doctors appointment. My care team encouraged me to try out a virtual visit since I live so far from their office. They made sure I would still have access to things like a spirometer or a sputum culture. They helped me get a spirometer of my own and gave me lab orders for a sputum culture that I could take to my local hospital. Easy peasy, right? Apparently not.

I appreciated the convenience of the virtual appointment, however it is very important to me that I get regularly tested for any possible growing infection. I’ve had recent health scares and I wouldn’t want anything to start growing without me knowing about it. I thought that taking the lab orders to a local hospital would be easy, but the universe laughed at me instead.

First, I stopped by a hospital near me that I had heard good things about. I was full of hope and had no idea what was on the path ahead. I was told that this hospital system did not take my insurance. I was confused because I had been there before with this insurance plan, I asked them if something had changed. They said that nothing changed and they technically accept my insurance… just not for sputum cultures. I had to hold back laughter. This hospital system will cover any other service, emergency or preventative, just not a sputum culture? Another person I spoke to explained there are certain lab orders that they just can’t take. They told me to try Quest Diagnostics down the street. Feeling mildly defeated, but still hopeful, I drove 5 minutes to Quest. I sit down with someone and ask if they can do a sputum culture. She looks at the lab order I handed over with a look of pure confusion on her face. “…What’s a sputum culture?” I stare at her, in shock, as I briefly explain what a sputum culture is. Then I watch as she types “what is cystic fibrosis” into google. Another person I spoke to there said that sputum cultures were not showing up in their system at all. Needless to say, they could not do it there either. Well… third times the charm? I call the next closest hospital in addition to a Labcorp, they both said no. I called two more hospitals and they also said they could not do it. They suggested I go to Quest Diagnostics. Now I’m really over this.

Please note that I live in a very rural area of Northern Georgia. Healthcare options are extremely slim. None of the local doctors are familiar with what CF is. This may be shocking if you live near a city, so welcome to the life of a girl living in the rural South.

I try ONE more hospital that’s not too far from where I live. After much deliberation and bringing in every manager that was available, they said they might be able to do it. They said they just couldn’t do it on site, I had to bring the cup home and needed to produce at least 15 milliliters of sputum. Then I must keep the sample on ice and take it back to the hospital anytime before 8am the next morning. I stared at them with wide eyes as I tried to imagine coughing up a full 15 mLs of sputum. I thanked them for their time but said I wasn’t sure that this would work for me.

Well, here we are. I can’t get a sputum culture done anywhere near me. I guess I’m driving down to my doctor after all… except they have no availability. They tell me to go to Emory hospital in Atlanta and they can do it for me. So I rearrange my work schedule in order to make the drive down. Of course, it was not as easy as I hoped.

Upon my arrival I went to the front desk and asked where I should take my lab orders. The kind man looks at my papers and says, “What is a sputum culture?” Ah yes, the question of the week. I explain to him what it is and he sends me to the pulmonology department. I go up a few floors and find where I need to go… you will never guess what the PULMONOLOGY department said it me. “I’m not quite sure what a sputum culture is to be honest, we can’t do that here.” I think everything inside of me shattered. I did not know whether to cry or scream, perhaps both. They send me to a clinic on the bottom floor. I go to this clinic, that’s busy and full of sick people, and I ask them if they can do a sputum culture. After discussing it with each employee there, they said they could do it. Huzzah! Could this finally be it? They ask me if I have the sputum with me. “Umm… I can produce it right now if you give me a few minutes. I have cystic fibrosis.” She gives me a confused look but goes to grab a cup. Thank goodness, it’s happening. She sends me to a bathroom that’s very small and does not smell pleasant at all. There is a urinal and a little door in the wall for handing off urine samples. So in that tiny bathroom on the bottom floor of the hospital is where I could finally give my sputum sample.

Now we will see if it actually gets tested correctly.

This whole experience reminds me of how unfortunate it is that the healthcare system rarely make it easy for people. A healthcare facility can be good, but how knowledgeable is your staff? How can they best support every person that walks through the door? There are many health conditions out there, nobody can learn them all by heart. I just didn’t realize that a sputum culture was that uncommon in my area.

That virtual appointment was nice, but I think I’ll stick with going in person!