"The Gratification of Being Exhausted" by Elena Goodrow

As if life isn’t exhausting enough as it is, I was blessed with the chronically ill card. This is in addition to the eldest daughter that can’t slow down card. Also the nursing student card. Is my body eventually going to crash and beg me for a break? Absolutely, and I try to give myself rest when I am able. I’m grateful that I have the ability to push myself as hard as I do. In many ways, the exhaustion is gratifying. It shows me how strong I have become and how much I fill my life with things that make me happy. It also shows me how dependent I am on caffeine… whoops. That’s what being a barista for years does to you.

This morning I got up nice and early at 3:30am for my clinical rotation. Driving an hour at 4 am on curvy mountain roads while it is pouring rain is certainly not ideal. But nonetheless, I persevere!

Most days I wake up for class at 6am, which I much prefer compared to 3:30am. Then somehow, every single day there is something I have to rush to after class is over. After 7 hours of school I’m pretty beat, but my to-do is ever growing. This week it included my car headlights going out, and my Mom raised me to always fix my car myself. So I grabbed some new bulbs and got to work. Thank goodness I got it taken care of quickly because the next day was another 4am pitch black drive to clinical.

I also heard that my brother was visiting from college this week, but I only found out the day before he drove in. So I rushed home from school so I could go out to dinner with my family and spend time with my brother for the first time in a couple months. He grew up a lot between now and then!

Then it was time to celebrate Halloween! After studying, laundry, and errands, I was able to meet up with my parents for a little Halloween party at our favorite coffee shop.

Yesterday my girlfriend needed a ride into downtown Atlanta for a work thing, and as an Atlanta native I am the designated city driver in our relationship. Well, the 1 hour and 40 minute drive turned into a 3 hour drive due to several car accidents on the route. Then her work meeting ran long, so I did some studying at a Barnes and Noble Starbucks for awhile.

In the middle of all this, of course my dog decided to wake up one morning not acting like himself. He was lethargic, weak, and uninterested in his favorite things. Luckily he was eating and drinking fine, and now he is back to his normal energetic self! That was just the panic attack I needed this week.

Despite all the chaos, changing plans, long school days, and endless errands, I find myself being so grateful for the life I live. I am also grateful to have a cozy bed that I will be going to sleep in very shortly.